I want to make sure these students get the best education possible, with people who care about them and are invested in them as a collective and as individuals. I hope that I am the person that can do this! I will be praying for the knowledge and power to do God’s will–what ever that may be.

Later I was introduced to Etsy! This website is like ebay, but for handmade items. No auctions!! After discovering this site I actually found a beautiful blue star quilt, very pretty and affordable. I recommend anybody that likes hand-made but doesn’t have the time or talent to make their own check this site out!! Keep in mind that seller include their time in the pricing.

Blue Star Quilt

Tuesday started our “Girl’s Trip” to a resort in Indio, thanks to Lady RP for getting us the room at her time-share. The place was HUGE, three bedrooms plus a Murphy bed in the living room, dining area, and kitchen. The resort itself has a pool, kiddie wading  area, lazy river, spa, market, Domino’s pizza, and more stuff I don’t even know about! We took turns cooking and chasing after children, which is bound to happen when the children out number the adults 7-4. It was really great though, Lady V brought her two siblings and they are 13 and 15, so they were a big help!!

Playing in the pool with the children was like a lesson in little miracles, they never got bored. Every new splash was a new delight and a bright smile that would make the sun jealous. Overall the kids really enjoyed playing together in the water: chase me, splash me, be a mermaid, be a crab, watch me fall in the water and splash myself in the face! They loved the water!! Which was great because it gave the adults some time to sit, watch, and chat.

Wednesday was treat day for the adults, the sister of Lady S came over with her son and offered free hair cuts to anyone who wanted one. Tell me, what woman doesn’t love a free hair cut!?!?! Not to mention she is really good at what she’s doing. It was such a fun experience, like having our own beauty parlor in our suite–small talk and gossip included.

We did have one small accident on this trip, Lady S slipped outside the pool. It was like you would see on America’s Funniest Videos, mom chasing after child, when mom slips in a puddle and her feet fly out from underneath her she is airborne, time stops for a moment and she is suspended in air and then drops straight down and slams into the ground on her back-smacking her head on the floor too. It was terrible!! After she regained herself we went back to the room for the night and she called the nurse hot line that recommended that she not take any pain meds and be woken up every two hours to be sure she could answer questions and did not feel worse. Fortunately all was fine throughout the night.

Thursday was the last day, after Lady S’s big fall we all knew she would need to take it slow and we did. Breakfast, packing, getting ready and loading the cars went just fine, nice and slow. She decided to go to the Dr. when we got back to town after a little nap. Dr said she pulled the muscles in her face, neck, shoulders, and upper back–no real head damage though. So the rest of that day was chill and restful. Everyone was asleep by 8:30!! Wild bunch we are, huh?!?

Which brings us to today, everyone was feeling better and we spent the morning in and cleaning up. For lunch we went to a Mexican restaurant in El Centro and then to the grocery store. When we got back everyone had time to rest and relax before we made tacos for dinner. After dinner we had a “movie theater” experience in the living room-Coraline in 3D. The kids loved how things “came out” of the movie and were excited throughout the whole thing-even scaring themselves a few times at unexpected, “pop-out” scenes. It was adorable!!

I left the beach looking for a good place for lunch and found Big Kahuna Burger–the one from Pulp Fiction!! It was a huge burger–they put everything including the kitchen sink on the thing. Since I had a parking spot already I headed down to Imperial beach for the sand castle competition and street festival. It was SO crowded and hot that I did not stay for long. I checked out about half the castles and vendors, then walked back to the car.

Before leaving I wanted to check out one more place and drove up to Mission Bay. This is the area right behind Sea World. In the bay is where loads of people go jet skiing and play around on motor boats and such. I got lucky-probably since it was late in the day-and found an uncrowded picnic and swim area. I enjoyed a leisurely swim with a mountian view and then hit the road. All and all it was a great trip!! I already have my plan for all the things I want to see on the next trip.

Took a lunch break at the best coffeehouse/restaurant ever, called the Living Room. Great sandwhich! Then went shopping at a couple of New Age shops–lots of looking not much buying. Apparently I had missed the Gay Pride Parade in Hillcrest–such a shame.

After shopping I spent the early evening on Sunset Cliffs and after the sun set, I had to drive back downtown, find parking, and drop my gear off at the hostel. My late night plan was to go tot he show, I ended up seeing the Proposal. It was so funny that I laughed until I cried!! My night wrapped up shortly afterward with a walk back to the hostel and then a little light reading before bed.

My trip began on Friday, I drove through the mountains and stopped for a break in Julian (a cute former mining community–currently known for its PIES). I found a really cute shop to have lunch-Apple Alley Cafe. The best part was that my soup and 1/2 sandwhich came with a slice of pie-I chose traditional apple. After this little break I continued on to Escondido and the San Diego Wild Animal Park. This park is where most of the breeding programs for the San Diego Zoo run. The park is HUGE! Rather than caged and small exhibits, the animals are in large area and open environments. You walk through some sections and there is also a tram that you ride to get a full view of the larger areas. I enjoyed this park very much!!

I have been troubled by feeling of resentment and jealousy of my sister. Mostly as a result of her relationship with our deceased father. I have believed, without a shadow of a doubt, that she was and would always remain his favorite child. By this I mean that, I felt he had a deeper love and devotion for her than for myself-this I felt was expressed in the way that he pined over her, saved her from the consequences of her mistakes, and presented her with material objects that had not been earned. For example, she got a car for her 16th birthday the same as I did-though I had worked hard to succeed in school and she did not-a stipulation that I had been told would determine if you got a car. This has caused me great pain for many years. I wished that I had that type of relationship with my father, that’s not true, more to the point I wished he loved me as much as he loved her. I had felt somehow that I had earned that love and therefore could not understand why I was denied that love.

Upon reflecting on these feelings with my friend I have come to realize that I did share a deep love and mutual devotion with my father, one that has nothing at all to do with my sister and his relationship with her. I had so many “special” things that I shared with my father, things that were small and insignificant to the average person but provided a richness to our relationship. On the weekends that I spent with my dad during my adolescence-divorce calls for every other weekend, he and I did the grocery shopping; which meant going up and down every aisle of the store and carefully choosing the things we needed for the weekend and either spaghetti or chili. I spent time in the kitchen cooking with my dad and struggling with his frustration when trying new recipes-which we did not do often for that reason. As a police man, guns were a part of my dad’s life and at a young age I was taught how to disassemble and reassemble a gun, how to tell the difference between a loaded and unloaded gun, and how to properly clean one too! I watched late night crappy movies with my dad and had conversations that continued on till 1 am when he would fall asleep on the couch. These occasionally included him discussing his terrible memories from the Vietnam War-he served in the Navy. When I left for college most of my phone calls home consisted of my updates of life on campus and his expressions of concern about my sister, often ending with him asking my advise about what he should do as a parent to help her through these tough times she was experiencing. At the time this made me angry, “why wasn’t he focused on the events I participated in, the good grades I earned, or the accomplishments that I shared?, why is it that when I call he only wants to talk about her? why isn’t anything I do good enough to earn his attention?”. Later, when my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer caused by asbestos exposure and he could no longer live alone, he stayed with me with the aid of Hospice, until the day he died-at home with me.

Tonight I was shown a perspective that rings true for me-an insight my mother attempted to point out a long while ago but I was unready to accept. The relationship I had with my Da’ (a nickname I gave my dad many years ago) was so different than I realized. My Da’ treated me like an equal or a peer, rather than as a child. I was able to share in thought, responsibilities, and ideas that separated me from my childish thoughts-even though I was only a teenager at the time. He (and my mother) always had the highest expectations and KNEW that I would meet those expectation because that is the person I was and continue to be. When I have gotten in trouble I have turned away from the helping hands that instantly reached out to “save” me and rather insisted on “doing it on my own”, “handling with the consequences of my actions”, and “proving I can do it my way”. Stubborn like my parents!!! So I see more clearly, I am, and have always been, good enough to receive that love-but I was blocking it with my own self hate. My Da’ loved me! He saw me as a grown, responsible, and capable young woman.

I could have saved myself so much pain and fear, if only I had not tried so hard to GET his love for my sister and instead had just accepted and embraced the love he had for me!! So much wasted time trying to meet his (and my mom’s) expectations and show him (them) that I was better than good-especially since I had already exceeded their expectation by being GREAT!

My Mama has been trying to explain this to me for years and years. Finally, I get it! I have had for some time the benefiit of my parents seeing me as an adult and not a helpless child-always their “baby” but far from the child I used to be! It’s simple–LOVE replaces FEAR

We ate at the Coffeepot Cafe which is a local favorite, it sits at the base of a rock formation called the coffeepot. Upon our first adventure after brunch we found a winding road that lead us to a state park, where we learned more about Sedona and took a short hike. The trail that we were on was so quiet you would have thought we were the only people in the park-which is really a little bit like feeling you are the only people in a little world of natural beauty. Then we went and spent some time exploring at a new age center, great experience and insight gained there!! We drove to a valley lookout point, then took a break having an ice cream sundae at a cafe with an upclose view of the mountains. With sunset approaching we found a quiet spot to watch the sun decend behind the mountains, we had a great book that we were looking at together and that provided an amazing base for the experience, until the bugs drove us away. We ended up finishing our sunset experience at a different, less buggy overlook. It was great to see all the little flecks of lights at the base of the large mountain formations. 

The Coffee Pot Formation

The Smoke Trail

I know that this does not sound like a great experience when described, but it truly was amazing. I guess the best I could say it you have experience for yourself to really understand the power it all. Words cannot express it and pictures leave it flat feeling.

When I return I will be going to slide rock park and on a hot air balloon tour!! Also taking a sunset hike that is offered in the state park.

Hot Air Balloon Tour of Sedona

Slide Rock State Park